Before We Talk

The first conversation about home care goes better when you have had a few minutes to sort out your own thoughts. Not a plan, just a clearer picture. This page walks through the same questions we would ask you, so nothing about reaching out feels like a test. Use it for yourself, a parent or an adult child.

Start with four questions

What is the main challenge right now?

Try to name one thing, the thing causing the most friction this week. Mornings take two hours. Dinner is cereal more nights than not. A daughter drives across St. Charles County twice a day. A son with a disability wants his own routine but the transition is rough. The main challenge is usually where support should start.

What kind of help would be most useful?

Families often assume they need the biggest option. Frequently the most useful help is smaller and more specific: someone to handle laundry and groceries, a companion two afternoons a week, a steady hand during the shower, a caregiver who covers Thursday so you can keep your own appointments.

What is going well already?

If a neighbor already takes Mom to church, if a grandson mows the lawn, if the person still cooks and enjoys it, those things should stay exactly as they are. Good support fills gaps. It does not take over things that are working.

What would you like support to make easier?

Finish the sentence: "It would help if I did not have to worry about..." That sentence, more than any service list, is what we build a plan around.

Helpful details to have in mind

None of these are required, but each makes the first call more useful.

• Who needs support, and what they would say about it themselves.
• Where support would happen: their home, your home, an independent living apartment, the community, or a mix.
• Personal care: whether bathing, dressing, grooming, mobility or meals are part of the picture.
• Homemaking: housekeeping, laundry, meals, organization and upkeep.
• Errands and appointments: groceries, pickups, rides to appointments, waiting with someone during a visit.
• Mobility or disability-related needs: anything about getting around, routines or community participation we should understand from the start.
• Preferred days and times, even rough ones. "Weekday mornings" is enough.
• Ongoing or temporary: help after surgery at home in St. Louis often runs a few weeks; support for an older adult or an adult with a disability may be open-ended.

Questions to ask any provider

Whether you talk to us or someone else, these questions separate real answers from brochures.

• What types of support do you provide, and what do you not provide? An honest provider will tell you where non-medical support ends.
• Can support start small? A few hours a week should be a normal request, not a problem.
• Can it include homemaking? Meals, laundry and errands are the backbone of many plans.
• How do you match caregivers? And what happens if the first match is not right?
• What happens in the first conversation? You should hear a description of a conversation, not a sales process.

Questions we may ask you

Expect us to ask what has changed recently, what a typical day looks like, what the person receiving support would want us to know, which routines and preferences matter most, who else is involved, what days and times would help, and whether this is temporary or ongoing. If you do not know yet, that is fine. We figure it out together, and the plan can change when life changes.

Related resources

For a plain description of each kind of support, read The New Plan Guide to Care & Support. If you are still deciding whether it is time, When More Support May Help lists the changes families notice. The rest is on the resources page.